Attack on MY HEART

Like most otaku with a good head on their shoulders, I was quickly caught up in the Attack on Titan (Shingeki no Kyojin if you prefer) craze. And I think I just graduated from otaku to fangirl.

Since I’m an avid manga reader, when I first saw the anime and found that I really liked it, I decided to check out the manga. I’m a little  a lot picky about the art style of the manga I read and unfortunately, AoT did not meet my standards. Yes, I know I’m ridiculous, okay? I can’t even draw a straight line, but you know… those who can’t, judge.

Now as we know, the gap between Season 1 and this so-called Season 2 has been pure torture, but word is that wait is almost over. In honor of this, I decided to re-watch AoT.

Best. Decision. Ever.

Even though I knew what was going to happen, watching the show over again was just as exciting! Like… ☆ミヾ(∇≦((ヾ(≧∇≦)〃))≧∇)ノ彡☆

BUT… it made me even more anxious to know what the heck’s supposed to happen next.

So I sucked up my snobby art bias and opened that manga.

Holy! What was I waiting for? Why have I deprived myself of this? I won’t spoil it for those of you who haven’t read the manga yet, but yes, just yes. It’s plot twists left and right and up and down! Action and titans and death… not surprised and so satisfied!

I can feel my inner fangirl breaking free the more I read and to top it all off… the inspiration. After reading something amazing I just get this itch to write, this desire to take the excitement coursing through me and transfer it to the page so I can share it.

Unfortunately, this also tends to happen at completely ungodly hours, and I have to sleep so I can be a functioning adult. Boo.

Where am I going with this post?

1. If you don’t watch Attack on Titan, watch it.

2. If you haven’t read Attack on Titan, read it.

3. Don’t be an art snob, like me.

4. Try not to pass out or suffer a coronary from all the excitement and the feels.

Read and watch responsibly!

The Fear Is Real

I know, I know. I said nothing about fears in my blog advertisement, but this is important, promise.

Fear has kept me from a lot of things, especially from sharing my stories with others. I’m an aspiring author who doesn’t let people read anything she writes. How does that even work?

I’ve always been like this, too. In junior high and high school, I had a particular way of writing that would shield my notebooks from any wandering eyes. It was ridiculous, but I didn’t break the habit until I started typing my stories instead of hand-writing them. Okay, I’m not sure that actually counts as breaking the habit but… details.

Lately, I’ve had to ask myself, “what am I so afraid of?” Am I afraid of rejection? Probably a little, but who isn’t. Rejection isn’t my biggest worry; no, it’s actually pretty low on my list. Am I afraid I’ll fail at being an author? Mm. That’s always a thought that’s on my mind, though at the same time, I know there are different venues of publishing that can be explored. Failure will really only be what I make it, so I guess we can put that at the bottom as well.

What is it then? What has such a terrifyingly strong hold on me that in eight years less than ten people have read anything of mine that actually means something to me?

It took being extremely honest with myself to come to my answer, and once I did, I realized that I’d known the answer all along.

Before I give you a direct answer (direct answers are no fun!), let me tell you a little about who I have been.

I’ve been a singer my entire life. The first time I performed on stage, I was five years old. I’ve done competitions, concerts, the National Anthem for special events, weddings, funerals… the list could probably go on. Singing is easy for me. People are used to seeing me on stage and I’m used to being on stage; it’s a part of my life, but it’s only one part. Music is the part of my life people see.

Writing has always been the part they don’t see.

My writing is a part of me that not many people know. Everyone thought I would go to school for music. I thought I would go to school for music. There had to come a point when I acknowledged that while I love music, it is only something that I enjoy. Music is not my passion.

Writing is my passion.

Remember that direct answer I denied you earlier? It’s time for that now.

I’ve been terrified of letting people get to know me. And honestly, it’s not the strangers I’m worried about. It’s not the people of the world who will either love my writing or hate it and nothing in between. It’s the people who know me that I’m afraid of letting in, my family and my friends. They’re the ones who have always known that other side of me, and I’m afraid of introducing them to me as a writer.

But it’s time to forget about all that. This is who I am. There’s nothing for me to be afraid of; there never has been.

So, allow me to introduce myself. I’m Adryanna, and writing is my passion.

One fear down… bugs to go!


Next time on blogging in Eszailha… relevant things!

A Very Awkward Hello

A very awkward hello to you all!

I’m not good at this blogging thing. Okay, let’s start again. I was really good at this blogging thing when I needed to vent, but I don’t really have anything I need to vent right now and this isn’t a blog for venting anyway. Where am I going with this?

Well, I guess this will be an advertisement of sorts—my pitch to you of what you can expect when you return to my blog.

  • There will be blogs about writing, of course: writer’s block, creating characters, and mapping worlds.
  • There will be blogs about inspiration: nature that terrifies and awes me, people that drive me insane, but will help me make well-rounded characters, and movies and music that amp up my creativity.
  • Manga. There will be blogs about manga and anime, and the ways they fuel my ideas and influence my writing style. Fair warning; they will be borderline obsessive, and by borderline I mean way, way over the border.

If any or all of these things interest you, I highly suggest you stick around. Read my opinions, give me yours, and let’s talk. Who knows, you could be a source of inspiration for me, hopefully not in the driving me insane area though.

I’m kidding.

…Sort of.